Counting the Fillings in the Gift Horse’s Mouth

We all have likely heard the expression “Never look a gift horse in the mouth” I got thinking about that old saying a lot lately as I caught myself doing just that.  Metaphorically, the expression means that one should accept a gift graciously and gratefully, without criticizing the gift or giver.  Now, it doesn’t have to be a gift like your aunt giving you the extra cantaloupe she won’t eat or uncle Fred slipping you a twenty.   It can be the simple act of friendship to invite you over for dinner when you are alone at Christmas or an offer to help fix a vexing computer problem.

I was musing recently on a ride I made across Florida to meet a new friend, about my blog topics and about all the times good fortune has crossed my path and how I let the window slam shut before I realized the “land where the honey runs in rivers each day/And the sweet tasting good life is so easily found” was right out there in front of me and all I had to do was climb through the window of opportunity.

It seems an innately human characteristic to look for the motive behind someone’s behaviour or gift, or to spend an inordinate amount of time trying to figure out the angle, or to find the “catch” when there wasn’t one, and the motive was a generous soul making a selfless offer, or a completely innocent gesture of gratitude.

When I consider my own experiences, I lost count of the number of times I let the filter of my brain colour my perceptions of someone’s actions or cast a negative shadow on an offer made to me.  Yes, there are many reasons to apply our minds to understand motive and to see if there underlying reasons associated with any particular gift horse but the mind’s filter; what we think of something, colours our feelings and that’s when we start to pry the equine’s jaws apart.

I had a few invites yesterday for Christmas Dinner from folks here who know that I was likely going to be hanging out alone at the “Hotel California”.  I was in a space of self-doubt and misery about my choices (this happens when you chose the road less traveled) so I had my head right in the horse’s mouth counting the fillings.  But, there were no ulterior motives.  It was just good people being empathetic and making an offer that was authentic and string-less.

I’ve blogged about the Carole King song Way Over Yonder “To the land where the honey runs in rivers each day/And the sweet tasting good life is so easily found”.  By leading with heart and not the mind, that window of opportunity can be taken with less likelihood of it closing on your fingers or worse. 

As I continue this journey, I know I will be more accepting of each small kindness that comes my way and will accept with gratitude in my heart and fewer questions in my mind.  Taking another wise observation from Dr. Wayne Dyer “Wisdom is Avoiding All Thoughts That Weaken You”.  By counting the gift horse’s fillings, we diminish our humanity.  The thoughts that come from our past unpleasant experiences that filter our perceptions of the gifts that come to us are thoughts that weaken us.

Yes, this Christmas season was a trying time for me and I know for many of my friends on Facebook and BON but today is another day and brings new hope and new vigour to follow my chosen path.  I helped a friend today in far greater need and with more serious concerns than my stuff.  It felt good because they were not giving my horse an oral exam.

Today is certainly another day and I penned the following after an uplifting phone call from another friend.

My yesterdays are like the distant clouds

Hugging the wave crests out to sea

A near forgotten image of pain and regret

I see the clouds and nod at their passing