In a previous blog posting I talked about the Carole King song Way Over Yonder and the words being a metaphor for the companionship and food for the soul we all seek and deserve and through which, we find and realize the sweet tasting good life.
When I consider my own life (no admission or cover charge to eavesdrop on my own life), my relationships and the relationships that I had wished had been, that quest for meaningful companionship was often hampered by my own attachments. As Dr. Wayne Dyer said " Have a Mind That is Open to Everything and Attached to nothing." Too frequently I was tying myself to ideas that were only in my own head or to tied to self-imposed boundaries on the relationship that stifled or suffocated the natural rhythms of the interactions between the object of my affections and me.
Too much “Mind” and not enough “Heart”. It went beyond that into the complex dynamics of my personal growth emotionally, spiritually and mentally and that of my girl friend/partner/affection object and then the whole third dimension of the relationship relative to the everyday world around us. It was a huge integration problem of timing and alignments.
One of my favourite singer/songwriters on the human condition is Jackson Browne. In his song Two of Me, Two of You he writes “:
“There are two of me
And two of you
Two who have betrayed love
And two who have been true”
And two of you
Two who have betrayed love
And two who have been true”
He is singing about those attachments we have and the integration of two people in their relationship and their relationship to the world swirling around them. Timing and alignments.
He goes on to write:
“Of the two of me
One always knew
That I would always love you
Whatever you might do
And the more unfree and troubled you grew
I could feel the whole world splitting in two
Trying to make the room
For the two of you”
Listen to Two of me, Two of You
One always knew
That I would always love you
Whatever you might do
And the more unfree and troubled you grew
I could feel the whole world splitting in two
Trying to make the room
For the two of you”
Listen to Two of me, Two of You
This is the stifling or suffocation I talked about in my own affairs of heart when my ideas I held an attachment to and the real dynamics of two people growing and changing in a world of change and external pressures would literally split in two and thus, another smoking relationship crater.
If this riding lifestyle I am following is about reaching that state Way Over Yonder of the sweet tasting good life, then I have to understand and let go of the attachments because the attachments to what I want and perceive as the “right way” for things to be are what keep me from “making the room/For the two of you”. Then, there is timing and alignment.
A few weekends ago I had occasion to watch a video performance by Bruce Springsteen and one of the songs in the concert was called “If I Should Fall Behind”. The song was all about the alignment between two people and where they were in time with the world about them.
“We said we’d walk together baby come what may
That come the twilight should we lose our way
If as we’re walkin a hand should slip free
I’ll wait for you
And should I fall behind
Will you wait for me
We swore we’d travel darlin side by side
We’d help each other stay in stride
But each lovers steps fall so differently
But I'll wait for you
And if I should fall behind
What a beautiful poetic treatment of two people living in the real world who understand that timing and alignment are necessary for the relationship or connection to survive the stresses of life. And, dig it, neither expresses attachment to their own ideas but rather to the common ideal of the relationship.
As I make this journey and travel Further Up the Road, I hope to find new relationships, new loves, new adventures. My track record thus far sucks but I am getting smarter about it and leading with heart is how I choose to approach the journey. Like everyone who is honest with themselves I want happiness through a healthy relationship and the companionship that is food for the soul.
Tonight before I wrote on this theme, I was developing another idea. I was discussing that idea with a dear friend that I hope will become a bigger part of my life in the future, I was so wrapped up in my brilliant perspective on the topic that I did not consider my friends feelings and what she might think of this “great” idea of mine for a blog. She’s no slouch and pointed out quite quickly that my idea I was “attached to” could apply to her in an unfavourable way.
Ooooops. My enthusiasm for that “great idea” rapidly flagged. It turns out she thought it was a great idea. By then, I was well into this piece and about all the mistakes I appeared ready to make all over again. It reminded me of another song I heard a few times recently. A gorgeous performance of the song Time After Time sung by Eva Cassidy. The link to play it is below. The lyrics that came to mind for me as I considered my near miss with fate were:
Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick,
And think of you
Caught up in circles confusion--
Is nothing new
Flashback--warm nights--
Almost left behind
Suitcases of memories,
Time after time
And the lesson for me is lead with Heart but use my mind to see the unhelpful attachments and help keep the timing and alignment going so the relationship grows instead of splitting two Further on up the road
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