It’s a rainy and very cool night here at the “Hotel California” in Sebastian Florida. I have had a busy few days partaking in the fun of Daytona Bike Week then delivering my 2006 Road Glide from here to Daytona where some friends will haul it north to Canada for me. I got in from Daytona yesterday afternoon and after getting things organized for the trip today to deliver the Harley, I had a friend send me a note that they wanted to talk.
I had a long phone conversation last night with my new friend who I have gotten to know a little through my blogs and our comments back and forth about my subject matter and my own Spirit Quest. I have had these types of conversations before and they can be grueling because so much stuff gets out in the open. Raw emotions, mental anguish, the cries of a wounded spirit are intertwined in the threads of the conversation. I don’t pretend to be a therapist or to be any sort of expert but I do listen well and have a lot life experiences to draw from if my opinion or my advice is sought.
My friend has been through a hard life with the loss of a mate, raising a family alone as the sole provider, and through the trials and stress of giving out while not having the nourishment of another giving back. Most of us have had at least a taste of the hard life lessons of coping with adversities and catastrophic loss. The hard work to make ends meet and to build our savings for the day when the nest is empty and it is time to take our lives in hand and live the life we have earned and deserve.
After years of hard work in a challenging profession, my friend had changed course to begin living a new life that satisfied the desire to expand the children’s horizons beyond their video games and the family room couch while leaving behind a very negative and stressful career. This all seemed to work and the children grew up and moved into their own lives. The desire was there to begin shedding some of the demands of a large property with lots of upkeep to a simpler life with opportunities for “me” time; a move to create of life based on “less is more”.
Then, as often happens, life rose up to put a stop to this journey to self-realization. First personal injuries then one of the grown children was injured and moved home to recover along with all the trapping of their personal life into what was a budding life of independence. The injury is long healed but life in the nest is much simpler and safer then life “out there”. The dilemma: How to achieve the goal of a life based on personal happiness and the pursuit of personal dreams while dragging Junior up the mountain too.
The conversation caused me to reflect on my own life where I arrived on my parents doorsteps several times after they had hoped I had left the nest, to sort out my most recent drama and to coast for a while in pampered free living. It must have been torture for my parents who had their own dreams of travel and time together.
Our conversation ended in a discussion of potential steps to change the situation and get the budding new solo life back on the tracks in the direction of personal happiness, inner peace, and spiritual and emotional fulfillment. I won’t say more about the conversation except to say the themes were:
Setting boundaries
Setting your own timelines and agenda first
Not asking permission to live the life you desire but taking steps to claim it.
The conversation was as good for me as for my friend. I thought about my move to life on the road; to my shift to a life of “Less is more”. You can’t get much less than what fits on a Harley Davidson that will sustain you for the next 6 months. I am doing it but the path was not easy and required me to set boundaries and to claim what I wanted and pay the price. The Eagles song Already Gone came to mind.
Well I know it wasn’t you who held me down
Heaven knows it wasn’t you who set me free
So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains
And we never even know we have the key
The tune could apply to a romantic relationship but it can apply to any relationship. We all hold the key to our happiness. No one can make us happy. We can draw happiness through our relationships but we first need to be happy and comfortable in our own skins. In the words of Pogo the Possum (a comic strip character created by Walt Kelly) “We have seen the enemy and it are us!” I had to figure that one out and keep it in mind as I walked my path. After our phone call I think my friend was reminded about this message which, they already knew.
I am heading back to Daytona to spend some time with friends and to get a little more Whoopee on before I hit the road again. I know my new friend will read this and I hope I have been discrete. I am looking forward to another phone call soon to see what little steps have been taken towards a life of happiness and fulfillment. It takes many little steps to get there. Not many of us are good at hitting home runs. I would not be surprised to here they are Already Gone down that road to spiritual and emotional completion and singing a victory song.
Already Gone –
Well, I heard some people talkin’ just the other day
And they said you were gonna put me on a shelf
But let me tell you I got some news for you
And you’ll soon find out it’s true
And then you’ll have to eat your lunch all by yourself
’cause I’m already gone
And I’m feelin’ strong
I will sing this vict’ry song, woo, hoo,hoo,woo,hoo,hoo
The letter that you wrote me made me stop and wonder why
But I guess you felt like you had to set things right
Just remember this, my girl, when you look up in the sky
You can see the stars and still not see the light (that’s right)
And I’m already gone
And I’m feelin’ strong
I will sing this vict’ry song, woo, hoo,hoo,woo, hoo,hoo
Well I know it wasn’t you who held me down
Heaven knows it wasn’t you who set me free
So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains
And we never even know we have the key
But me, I’m already gone
And I’m feelin’ strong
I will sing this vict’ry song
’cause I’m already gone
Yes, I’m already gone
And I’m feelin’ strong
I will sing this vict’ry song
’cause I’m already gone
Yes, I’m already gone
Already gone
All right, nighty-night
From the as yet untitled book
A storm passed through in the darkness
Lightening like nightly daggers
Curtains mad sails on wet windows
Cannon barrages between the buildings
Morning sun against layers pink and blue
Streaming steaming clouds of gray
Wetness and fog rises through the trees
Freshness clamors for me to rise and go forth
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