I am sitting in the usual place for blogging, that being, my chair by the stoop of the cabin at the “Hotel California”. It is a beautiful spring-warm night in Sebastian, Florida with the gibbous moon playing peek-a-boo through the leaves of the live oak trees and a billi0n stars all about it. There is a scent of the sea on the wind and a gentle breeze occasionally stirs my hair and rustles the palm fronds.
It is a sad evening for me. The air feels heavy in the cabin as my belongs are boxed and piled ready for my friends Rob and Bud to help me move them to the storage building. There is still some packing to do and the usual weeding out of T shorts and jeans so I can carry what I need on the Harley for the next several months. The list is fairly short. Tool kit and first aid kit, cold weather accessories and heated liners, fuel conditioner for the nasty ethanol, clothes, toiletries, documents, camera gear, a couple of books, sleeping bag, rain gear, cleaning cloths, iPod, CD’s, and one of my smaller Native American flutes (high D minor) made by the master Raymond Redfeather.
It is sad because I have made so many good friends. Real friends. The type of friends who accept me no matter what my state of mind or spirit. Friends, who have my back all of the time as I have theirs will be left behind but never forgotten. I will be leaving them for a while but I know I will see them again. There have been love too, both realized and unrequited. The bittersweet sense of parting lingers in my heart and soul, as I will set forth into the unknown distances and chance meetings of the road and my Spirit Quest.
I was listening to music as I always do at times like this. My favourite singer, Jackson Browne, spun out his tune All Good Things Come to an End. And the beautiful ballad performed by Mark Knopfler and Emmylou Harris, If This is Goodbye.
My famous last words
Are laying around in tatters
Sounding absurd
Whatever I try
But I love you
And that's all that really matters
If this is goodbye
If this is goodbye
Your bright shining sun
Would light up the way before me
You were the one
Made me feel I could fly
And I love you
Whatever is waiting for me
If this is goodbye
If this is goodbye
Who knows how long we've got
Or what we’re made out of
Who knows if there's a plan or not
There is our love
I know there is our love
My famous last words
Could never tell the story
Spinning unheard
In the dark of the sky
But I love you
And this is our glory
If this is goodbye
If this is goodbye
Whether for friend or lover the lyrics work and capture the melancholy of parting and closing a chapter in the journey never forever for, if nothing more, the memories and experiences live in my heart and soul.
Not a long blog tonight but I need to ground myself amidst the emotional turmoil and be ready for the joys of the road and the continuance of finding the “me” in me.
I hope to blog once more before leaving this beautiful, memorable place.
My dear friends will be with me on the road in my heart, soul, and spirit.
From the untitled book
My heart is an empty room
That still echoes with your laughter
And the sound of your footsteps
As you quietly close the door
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