Taking the Risk for Happiness, Hope, and Love

My blog posting yesterday was about “the grand essentials to happiness”.  It was painful writing at times because I chose to speak in the first person about myself and to measure myself against the essentials of happiness as defined by Joseph Addison in the quote I received from a BON friend.

I finished the posting with a poem I had written that morning.

From the bottom of the pond

The lotus flower rises

A red flower in the shape of a heart

Clenched to its centre

In still waters seeking the sun

It feels the fullness of the day

And opens

Revealing me

Well, I received a comment from another BON friend in the form of another quote from the 20^th century French essayist and writer of female erotica, Anais Nin.

And the time came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom! - - Anais Nin

Life, the pursuit of happiness, the pursuit of love, and the journey to the sweet tasting good times is all about risk and overcoming fear.  Fear is what pulls our psyches into an emotional/spiritual fetal position.  When we get hurt in a relationship, our natural response is to behave defensively.  We curl inward and turn our back to those things that are “the grand essentials to happiness”. 

What we tend to do when we are hurt or scared (at least I do from experience), is we throw the three legs of the Grand Essentials of Happiness out of balance.  We find all kinds of busy stuff that we place at the top of our priority lists so there is no time for love of anything except being busy and the thought of hope for anything specific is a distant mirage.

Fear also is the river we have to cross in our journey to the sweet tasting good times; breaking free from attachments that hold us back, shifting from a negative to positive intentions, going up against what we fear most be that loneliness, fear of emotional hurt, financial fears, or simply fear of the unknown.  We are safe by living in our minds rather than our hearts because the mind filters and keeps us safe from the risks of an open heart.

I wrote the following in 2000 during a time of great uncertainty, fear, and mistrust.  I did break free and did cross over and 2001 was a watershed year for me as a person and as an artist.  Hope came alive for me.  I am in a similar space now as I write this morning’s blog post from the Hotel California in Florida.

I walked beside the river flowing

The current sending streamers round

Half sunken logs

I saw the faces of those

Who crossed over before me

And those living next to me

And I saw my own life reflected

In the shallows, me and those around me

I remarked on how swiftly the water flows

And I wondered whether those before

Had lived and shared and loved to the fullest

Did they fill each day and each moment?

Before entering the swift water

To cross over

I looked at my own reflection

Asking those same questions

Then I got to my feet

And went to find you

Breaking free of the fear and crossing the river are like the bud in the quote by Anais Nin.  The draw to be balanced between head and heart, the desire to have the three legs of the Grand Essentials of Happiness in balance is too strong; too compelling. 

And the time came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom! - - Anais Nin

As we roll into 2011, I hope I continue to blossom now that I have broken free of the fears and I am leading with heart and with hope; and so may you all.